he strangles himself in thoughts and cheap cigarettes amongst old art and shattered dreams I drown myself in alcohol and naive sex every weekend with boys who want me as much as he want life they see my naked skin but they don’t see me only my desire to be loved they don’t know me, know him, know us and least of all they don’t know the look of bitterness and the poor aftertaste in my mouth
guide me through the dark and
stay there ‘till morning comes
I love you to infinity
and only you
I woke up one morning and believed you loved me. With my cold feet burning underneath the white duvet and the smell of homemade french toast kissing my nose. but the way you stroked my hair and told me I was good enough, did not exist.
I woke up one morning and believed I missed you. the scent of mother on your pillowcase and your bloody recordings of dr. phil. but I also remember the car in the parking lot when it rained from the sky and raindrops fell from my eyes. you gave me up.
I woke up one morning and believed I loved you. but he touched me and you let him. and you let him stay and threw me at the gate. I cannot love you mother I do not love you anymore.
yours truly your daughter
it’s been a week. you talked about a trip to go see our sisters and then you kissed me and lit a cigarette and kissed me some more. I never saw it coming, I guess you’re that kind of person. it’s been a week. a friend of yours told me you’ve liked me since that night where you called me a bomb, and I went home with another guy, regretful of my actions, cause truly, well, I guess I’ve already spoiled it, haven’t I? it’s been a week. and now you suddenly text me talking crazy. they say you’re bad, but maybe that’s just about good enough for me.
Dear best friend
you believe in me and I’m grateful
you’re precious and I’m only trying
I’m scared, but you allow me to dream
And when I’ll make it, we’ll make it
and you can sleep on my couch and I can pay for our dinners, I promise
You MUST write a letter to each Tumblr 30 Day Letter Challenge.
kind of doing this challenge, to be cliché and bad and I’ve been gone for so long, that I forgot to live and write and think. but I do hope someone will read it and hate it and appreciate it and maybe even like it.
chacharell said: Your blog is so cool
wow thanks a lot!